


Shadow Fantasies

by Kim Gasper (mickeym)



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: Anal Play, BDSM, Kink, M/M, Nipple Play, Sex Toys, Sexual Fantasy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1998-05-16
Updated: 1998-05-16
Packaged: 2017-10-08 18:43:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/78434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mickeym/pseuds/Kim%20Gasper
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim has some dark fantasies about a shadow lover.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shadow Fantasies

There were fantasies, and then there were fantasies. Ones made of light, of brightness. He had those sometimes; moments when he allowed himself to really consider what a relationship with his partner would be like. Then there were the other ones. The fantasies that were darker, hidden within the shadows. These were the ones he *couldn't* push off, no matter how hard he tried.

After a time, he quit trying.

The pattern was always the same. The dreams would start; at first, nothing more than vague shadows and whispers within his mind, easily dismissed. They would intensify to the point where he'd wake up with his hand wrapped tightly around his cock, his breath coming in fast, harsh pants, and his partner's name on his lips. When they reached that point he had to give in; he was no longer in control.

He was there now. The dark pleasures of those shadows called to him. It was time to make his plans.

****************

"Later, Jim. Don't expect me until tomorrow." The happy smirk on Sandburg's face was enough to pull a small smile onto Jim's.

"Should I tell you to be careful? Or," Jim let his voice drop to a playful drawl, "maybe I should tell you to be good."

"Oh, I *plan* to be good." The smirk widened, became an outright grin, and Jim felt his lips tug upward as well.

"Then maybe I should say behave." The bigger man shook his head. "Get outta here, Chief. You're late for this one, and Sam'll have your head. And not necessarily the one on your shoulders." He grinned when his partner shuddered. "Go on, lover-boy. Get out of here."

"See you later, Jim. Hope your head feels better soon." Blair paused at the door, his eyes uncertain. "You sure you're okay? I can call Sam, and--"

Jim shook his head. "I'm fine, Chief. I'm gonna take a shower, then hit the sack. You'd spend your evening just sitting around."

"Right. Later, man." Blair gave him a thumbs-up sign, then closed the door behind him.

Jim let out a sigh of relief. He could breathe again without giving himself away; could rub the erection throbbing insistently behind his jeans. He didn't want to touch himself too much--didn't want to lessen any of the upcoming experience. With a small shudder of anticipation, he began moving slowly about the loft, setting up to carry out his plans.

******************

He stood in the shower, shivering under the sensual pleasure caused by hundreds of tiny soap bubbles moving over his skin. He tingled everywhere now; the internal cleansing had left him fresh and alert, and eager for more, and he felt an all-over warmth moving through him.

The thoughts were already within him, stronger this time, and more urgent. He shuddered and stood under the spray, letting the hot water pound against him. He lifted a leg up onto the edge of the tub and reached down to rub one finger slowly back and forth over the small puckered rose hidden there. His body throbbed harder and he moaned softly, his eyes closing involuntarily.

{Bound. Wrists and ankles secured firmly to the four edges of his bed. Back, or front? Oh, back. His cock standing up proudly, hungrily, already leaking slightly. It was dark...and the blindfold covering his eyes was satin-rough. There was tightness, then a comforting pressure. A cockring. He sobbed quietly with need, and gentle fingers stroked down his cheek. A quiet, familiar voice spoke soothingly into his ear, punctuating the words with sharp nips to his earlobe.}

{You want this, Jim?}

"Yes," he whispered.

{Tell me. Tell me what you want.}

A sharp jolt of lust stabbed through him, and Jim opened his eyes, his body quivering with need. Already so hot, so hungry, and he wasn't anywhere near finished yet. He reached for the slender, oiled plug he'd prepared, then pressed it against the tight rosette. His body resisted for a moment and he growled at the delicious pressure, shuddering when his opening yielded for the intruder. He groaned a little louder when the wide part of the plug stretched him, then again when the tight ring of muscle snapped closed around the base. His body still shuddering with sensation, he turned the shower off and exited, drying himself carefully to avoid over-stimulating.

Naked, he padded out to the living room where a fire was already started and crackling merrily. The plug inside him was pushing against his passage, creating a constant friction that was already spreading heat, increasing his excitement. His stomach tightened up pleasurably when he spied the comfortable old quilt he'd laid in front of it, with a small bottle of oil warming in a bowl of water beside the hearth.

His eyes roamed over the implements he'd set out, small shivers moving through him. His breathing was faster and harsher than usual and his cock throbbed heavily, his balls hanging loose and hot below it. Jim settled himself on the quilt, adjusting the pillow behind his back until it was comfortable, then reached for the small warm bottle.

A long, lush groan echoed through the quiet loft as he dribbled warm oil onto his chest, taking care to coat his nipples thoroughly. Bottle set aside, Jim raised his hands and began gently stroking, rubbing the warm oil into himself. He closed his eyes, and they weren't his hands any longer, rather the hands of his dreams, of his shadow lover...

{Strong hands. Small, but sturdy; capable. They smoothed over his chest, rubbing strongly, massaging the tight pectoral muscles, raising his nipples into taut peaks just from the intimation of touch there. More oil was dribbled onto his hard buds; not hot enough to hurt, but just a touch of a sting, now that they were more sensitive. He moaned and arched upward slightly, then groaned when nimble fingers danced over the small tight nubs, pinching lightly.}

{So tight...so hard. Do they ache, Jim?}

{It was hard to breathe, to talk. The pinches intensified, harder now. Sharp stings that jerked his arousal higher. "Do they ache, Jim?" The voice was sharper as well, and he homed in on it, nodded jerkily. A sudden, tight pinch to his right nipple, and Jim jerked, his cock waving and bobbing in the air, drooling pre-ejaculate.}

"Y..Yes..."

{Good.} The voice was tight with satisfaction, although the smile was loving.

He shuddered and opened his eyes.

His hand was shaking when he reached for the first item on the tray; his body shook when he pinched his right nipple hard again, then fastened the small gold clamp on, groaning when the tiny teeth bit into his throbbing flesh. He thumbed his left nipple, then pinched it, firming the small nub. Another low groan echoed from him when he fastened the clamp on to that tit as well.

He brushed his fingertips lightly over the clamps, jostling them, sending waves of pleasure moving through his body, arching it upward, seeking more of that touch. A soft, harsh whimper burst from his lips. It was time. He needed more.

He drew his legs up, pushing them open, answering the voice in his mind. That soft-pitched, low, sexy voice that could *make* him do anything. Anything at all.

{Spread your legs, Jim. Touch yourself. Let me watch you touch yourself.}

He felt like such a whore, spread open like this, his body throbbing with hunger and need. A slow-moving blush spread up his body, warming him. His fingers stroked down over his cock, skimming gently, then further to cup his balls, rolling them in their soft sacs.

{Feel good, baby? Lift your balls so I can see you, Jim. I want to see that pretty little hole.}

He pulled and tugged on his swollen balls, twisting them lightly and groaning as the pleasure/pain moved through him. His fingers stroked lightly over soft skin of his perineum, sending shivers skittering through him, then back up to pull the pulsating testicles up away from his body, exposing all of himself. His fingers brushed against the base of the plug and he groaned when his body jerked, hunger knifing through him in intense spasms.

{Such a good little whore, aren't you? So hungry...wanting it so bad. Will you beg for me, Jim? Will you beg for my cock, baby?}

He groaned out loud, answering that compelling voice in his head. "Yessss...want it..."

{You want to beg, Jim? Or you want my cock?}

"Both..." he panted, his body shaking. He reached for the oil again, drizzling it this time over his cock and balls, shivering when it flowed downward, pooling around the base of the plug. Some of the warm, viscous liquid seeped in around the edge and Jim shivered harder, moving his hand down to stroke the oil into his straining flesh. He slid his palm over his cockhead, rubbing at the small, sensitive slit there, moaning softly.

They were incredible, these feelings running through his mind and body right now. Offering himself up to his shadow lover, wanting, no, *needing* to fetter his body; to free his soul. He wanted to get onto his knees and offer himself, offer anything his lover would have of him. Wanted to be bound and helpless, taken against his will, with his full consent. He moaned again at the thought of bonds; leather straps securing him to a bed...a table...anything. Another leather strap folded and applied across his ass. He shuddered and stroked his slick cock a little faster, his moans and whimpers nearly continuous now, as he imagined that strap falling on his ass. He could hear the *zwing* as the heavy leather moved through the air, and the resounding *thwack* as it struck his flesh; he could feel the heat moving through his body as his ass warmed, then grew hot and tender, forcing moan after moan from him as the pleasure turned into pain turning back into pleasure.

It was a punishment he wanted; one he'd asked for, craved, needed. *Detective* Ellison had to stay in control; *Jim* could give that control up. Needed to give it up.

{Tender, strong hands unloosed his bonds, rubbing at the spots where the leather had chafed him, where he'd pulled against the sharp pain that had been so brief and so needed. His ass throbbed now, the heat increasing when his lover rubbed his hand over it, spreading the heat around.}

{Only ten, Jim. You're so good, baby, taking them...and you liked it, didn't you? You took them and you would take more if I would give them.}

"No...yes...ohgod..." He wanted more; he didn't want more. It hurt; it felt incredible. His fist moved faster up and down his throbbing dick.

One finger probed delicately at the tiny piss-slit, and he groaned long and low, a rich sound echoing around him, as silvery-clear drops of pre-ejaculate welled up and spilled down the heated shaft.

"Please..." he begged quietly, his body trembling, the wet, juicy sounds of slick flesh sliding against slick flesh filling the air.

{You're so hot, lover; such a hot little whore, wanting it from me. I can't give you enough, can I? All I give you and you want more.}

"Yes," he moaned, shamelessly. "I want more...want it all...want everything. Please."

{Fingers stroked over his body, raising heat in their wake. A hot sizzle burned through his neurons when those fingers tugged lightly on one of the clamps still holding a taut nipple captive. He groaned, body arching upward in pain, only to have it fall off sharply into a white-hot pleasure that seared through him.}

In the stillness around him, with his own fingers working the clamps holding his aching tits, the rawness and need in his cry surprised even himself.

The hunger was building to a fever pitch within him. His ass throbbed and burned around the plug filling it, and his dick and balls were so hot and hard he felt scorched just from touching them. Every nerve ending in his body was screaming for release; wanted him to finish the fantasy, live it out to the end.

Harsh pants and low cries swirled around him as he shifted over carefully onto his stomach, pulling his knees up under himself, then widening them to increase his base. He reached a hand back under himself and jostled the base of the plug, moaning when his body contracted around it. He grasped it tightly and pulled, gasping loudly when his entire lower region spasmed, tightening and loosening violently, sending twinges along his cock.

Almost before he had a chance to recover from that he grabbed a dildo from his tray and shoved it inside of himself, shouting loudly when he spasmed closed around it. He leaned himself awkwardly against the pillow and fucked himself with the dildo and fisted his cock at the same time.

{His lover had him on his hands and knees, then pushed on his shoulders, forcing his upper body near to the floor. Those same capable hands pushed his thighs further apart, then a single finger ran down his crack, rubbing lightly over his throbbing asshole. The finger probed into him, and he groaned and tightened around it.}

This was it; from here until completion there would be no distinguishing fantasy from reality. He needed these shadows; needed this darker side of himself. He moaned and wiggled his hips, taking the small dildo deeper inside his throbbing body. His shadow lover talked to him, that hot voice moving over him, increasing his excitement even as he probed him with a finger.

"Fuck me...please, fuck me. I need it so bad, please."

{That's it, Jim. Beg for it, baby. Let me hear how bad you want it.}

A harsh groan from his lips as his body tightened. He was getting so close. His mind whirled frantically, desperately. More! Needed more!

"Please...ohgod, *please*...give me your cock...fuck me...I need to feel you...oh, please..." His voice cracked on a soft sob of need and his hand drove the dildo in and out, his mind providing the rest of it. He could hear the quiet sounds of a zipper being undone and fabric rustling as his shadow lover undressed. The sharp smell of heat, of arousal, of musk moved through the air.

{Yes, you need this. Need it from me, because I'm the only one who can satisfy you, aren't I?}

"Yes," he panted. "The only one..." He pulled the small dildo out, his fingers fumbling, clumsily, for the bigger one. It slid into him easily, stretching tissues that were loosened, aroused, and eager. "Oh, god! More, please...let me have your fingers...your cock, anything, *please*!"

{You beg so nice, baby. So hot, so ready. That little hole open and hungry, needing to be filled with my hard dick.}

{Two fingers rubbed over him, teasing the loose edges of the small rose. Jim felt his body bloom, opening and spreading as the fingers teased him, smoothing more oil over the little opening.}

{Can you take two, baby? Or do you want three? What do you need, Jim? Tell me.}

His hand worked the dildo almost savagely, faster and faster as his lust rose to a fever pitch. "No fingers," he moaned, hips moving in time now. "Your cock...please." He groaned louder as his shadow lover pushed the two fingers into his hungry, eager body.

{You're so hot, so ready. Loose and open...gonna take you now, baby...gonna shove my cock into you and fuck you. Wanna hear you scream my name when you come, Jim.}

He clutched the biggest dildo in his hand, replacing the smaller one, holding it poised at the entrance to his body, waiting...

{Take it,} his shadow lover grunted, pushing into the small, pulsing opening. {Take my cock, baby... God, Jim...you're so fucking hot... Say my name, lover. Let me hear the hunger in your voice when you say my name.}

He moaned softly, his own cock surging within his hand. It was the same, every time. This was the one phrase that could cause him to come, even without other stimuli. Admitting who this shadow lover was, out loud; calling the name of the one who meant the most to him.

"Blair. Oh, god, Blair...please..." He pushed the large dildo in, groaning, the cock in his mind taking its place, spreading him open wide. "Fuck me, Blair...please, baby...fuck me hard!"

{Oh, I'll fuck you hard.}

{Another grunt behind him, then small capable hands grasping his hips, pulling him tightly to the hot body pressed against him. A hard rhythm was started, rocking his body, slamming sensations deep into his body, into his soul. He pushed back, taking that cock deep into his body, grunting when his body spread open further, welcoming the hard heat.}

{Blair's fingers tightened on him again, the power in those slender digits holding him fast, binding him as tightly as the power in the voice he was conditioned to listen to. He took a deep breath and released it in a shuddering moan that seemed to go on and on as Blair fucked his cock in and out, filling him, taking him, making him submit to his power.}

{Take it...take me, Jim. Feel me inside you, fucking you, owning you. You're mine, Jim... Jesus, you're so good; so hot, so tight. Oh, god, Jim...}

"Yours. Yes, yours, Blair. Make me yours..."

{Blair's body was hot and sweaty, small droplets of sweat flinging from the heaving body, landing with a sizzle on his own burning skin. He could feel his body humming and singing, his release coming. He was so close now; he could feel the fluid within him moving up through his cock, burning him with the heat of it. And then there was heat and wet inside him, Blair screaming, his head thrown back as he pumped thick hot semen into Jim's grasping, throbbing passage. He shook and shuddered under the onslaught, his own body sliding fast into release, wanting only one other thing.}

There was more in his mind; a hotter, darker part to this fantasy, one he'd never dreamed he'd want, something he'd never wanted before. But he wanted to do this, to give this gift to this man, if only in his mind. He saw himself kneeling in front of Blair...of his shadow lover...his cock hard and hot, and spitting, needing release. Blair stood there, holding himself, a tender look on his face, heat in his eyes.

{You sure you want this, Jim?}

In his mind he nodded, unable even in his fantasy to voice the request, to put it into words. He raised his eyes to meet Blair's, silently asking for this; silently giving this gift of submission to the man he loved above all. There was a pause, and a gentling hand stroking over his head, and he closed his eyes, his body goose-bumped and trembling with anticipation. The briefest, barest of whispers washed over him.

{I love you.}

{His own creamy release spurted from him at the same time the first drops of hot liquid hit his chest and thighs, coursing down over his body, flowing like a hot river over him. The heat triggered another flood from himself, his semen mixing with the heat flowing over him. He shuddered through the release, opening his eyes at the last to see his shadow lover staring down at him, love and lust mingling in the dark blue depths. He moaned low in his throat, his voice hoarse with emotion.}

"I love you, Blair!"

********************

He was wet with sweat and semen; his body was still shivering and shaking from his physical and emotional release. God, that had been good. Needed. Jim shook his head, wondering where some of this came from; what corner of his mind dredged some of this up. Then, like always, he would imagine just *how* good it felt, and how much better the real would be...

He set the dildo aide, then sighed and flopped onto his back on the pillow and quilt. His body was still throbbing and pulsing with the after effects, but his mind was lulled back into peace, for now. He smiled sadly as he brushed a gentle hand over the clamps, a zing of sensation taking flight within him. Blair would be gone all night; maybe he could have one more in a little while, perhaps explore the lighter fantasies and dreams that played in his mind. If fantasies were all he could have of his roommate, then he would make the best of it, any time he was able.

Yawning now, worn out from the physical and emotional, he laid back against the pillow, deciding to take a short nap. He would dream...and then he could wake up, and live those dreams for a few short moments, at least.

He was in the process of shifting onto his side when the door rattled, then opened. Jim's eyes flew toward it, widening in shock and surprise when Blair walked through.

His roommate was obviously just as surprised to see *him*, because all Sandburg did for a minute was gape at him...then clear his throat nervously.

"Jim?"

~Finis~


End file.
